For more than 20 years as a local church senior pastor I have trying to offer good counsel to hurting people and along the way provide the perspective necessary to become survivors in a world quite dangerous to all who travel through its corridors. This counsel was provided an individual struggling to get beyond the pain of her past. I have changed the name to protect her dignity.

Hi __________
I appreciate your comments. Given what I now know of your situation, I can readily understand your feelings. But take some loving and timely encouragement. To say that ________'s testimony was a fine one was not to say that it was a perfect one and by the same token, to say that there was deception in your _____'s life is not to say that God did not sovereignly act in your home to bring you to himself, protect you and provide important guidance along the way, even I imagine through your _____. God will get the glory even in a life lived partly through deception and sin, if only that "He who is in __________... is stronger that the evil that presented itself to your _____ for control. (Phil. 1:6) I know you wish it could have been better or the revelations eliminated, but God has made you his child, and a champion and given you both better discernment because of these experience, and a greater sensitivity to those who ache and pain for righteousness, but never find it in their home.

I really hope that I do not appear to be challenging you... or in some way diminishing the level of your pain. Your _____'s behavior was shameful and from what I understand,_____ testimony largely a farce, but it remains only part of the story, and I imagine , if I know anything about heaven and our ability to perceive, ___ realizes the painful consequences of ____ choices, if only too the grateful nature and limitless boundaries of grace.

May this help you put Godly boundaries around your pain and the ability to remain an "overcomer."

In loving encouragement
Mark